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Tag: empathy

Patience

Patience

Don’t Let Frustration Get the Better of You Patience is a virtue, and there’s a reason – it’s a tough skill to master. Imagine, for instance, that you’re waiting for someone to finish compiling a report that you need for a meeting. You’re already late, you can feel your body getting tense, and you’re starting to get angry. Suddenly, you lose your temper and yell at the person for putting you behind schedule. You can tell that they’re shocked and…

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How To Ace Thanksgiving

How To Ace Thanksgiving

As wine is poured and clashing     personalities take their place at the table, controversial issues can hijack conversation. Like any holiday that brings far-flung family members into close proximity for extended periods of time, Thanksgiving can be a fraught and imperfect occasion, despite our best efforts. Old grudges simmer quietly between relatives, wine flows too quickly, extroverts dominate the room and conversations veer into dangerous political territory (Trump, Trudeau, #MeToo, climate change, and on and on). Meltdowns happen, with…

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11 Life Lessons

11 Life Lessons

The 11 Life Lessons It Turns Out I’ve Taught My Six Kids On my 46th birthday recently, my (mostly adult) kids wrote out a list of lessons I’d taught each of them in their lives so far. Each wrote their own list, and my wife Eva sweetly put them together in a notebook. As I read through them, I felt like crying. It’s so incredibly touching that they appreciate what I’ve been trying to pass on to them, things I’ve…

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Nerd Alert: Reading is Good For Your Health

Nerd Alert: Reading is Good For Your Health

Clients who seek solace by pouring their hearts out in Alison Kerr Courtney’s office don’t get rewarded with a Xanax or Prozac prescription. Instead, they walk away with a reading list. The founder of  BiblioRemedy isn’t a licensed therapist, nor is she currently an English teacher, although she did work as one for 10 years in France, and has spent years shelving books at the library and in bookstores. Courtney is a kind of book whisperer. For as long as…

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How to Listen with All Four of Your Ears

How to Listen with All Four of Your Ears

New research shows how to get your ears to listen through all their channels. When we think about communication, we generally divide it into two categories—verbal and nonverbal behavior. But, according to the “four ear” model of communication, we speak and listen through four separate channels. The question is, when you communicate through one of those channels, what will your listener hear? A new study that used behavioral neuroscience to investigate the factors that influence how your message is received…

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Why We Need to Teach Kids Emotional Intelligence

Why We Need to Teach Kids Emotional Intelligence

For years, I’ve taught a weekly psychology class to students ranging from 7 to 14 years-old. In this class, I encourage self-reflection, asking kids to identify and express what they think and feel and to consider the thoughts and feelings of others. The results are often surprising. Strong, self-aware statements come out of their mouths that I don’t always expect. “I feel bad about myself in class. I worry I’ll be slower than everyone else.” “I’m angry when my dad…

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Leveling Up Your Emotional Intelligence

Leveling Up Your Emotional Intelligence

Moving from reaction to response to reflection One of the hall marks of emotional intelligence is the ability to respond to a situation, rather than react to it. We are at our basest when we react to external situations or events, allowing those experiences to control our behavior. Through the development of self-awareness, we move away from this external orientation toward one that is more interior in nature. As this happens, we become more and more cognizant of our thoughts…

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How to Argue the Right Way

How to Argue the Right Way

Everyone knows just how taxing a fight with a loved one can be on us emotionally. But new science is showing just how bad arguing is for our physical health. A 20-year study from the University of California, Berkeley, has started to pinpoint some of the negative long-term health effects of arguing. Researchers found that while “outbursts of anger predict cardiovascular problems… shutting down emotionally or ‘stonewalling’ during conflict raises the risk of musculoskeletal ailments such as a bad back…

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Research Examines Social Benefits of Getting Into Someone Else’s Head

Research Examines Social Benefits of Getting Into Someone Else’s Head

Desire to understand other people’s perspectives has implications for teamwork, relationships June 1, 2016   Source: University at Buffalo Summary: Do you often wonder what the person next to you is thinking? You might be high in mind-reading motivation (MRM), a newly coined term for the practice of observing and interpreting bits of social information, like whether the person next to you is rhythmically drumming his fingers because he’s anxious or if someone is preoccupied because she’s gazing off into…

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6 Things An Empath Does Differently

6 Things An Empath Does Differently

By definition, empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, and it seems to be on everyone’s mind these days. From business leaders to front-line salespeople, from medical doctors to school officials, everyone is trying to become more empathetic to better serve their community. Highly empathetic people know they are different from the people around them. They are highly sensitive and overly emotional beings that feel what other people feel. While they thrive on the loving and positive feelings,…

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